Being Better

As a male in today’s day and age, I can’t even begin to pretend like I understand the struggles and fears that accompany a woman, because frankly they do not apply to me. I do not fear walking alone to my car, I do not fear walking my dog at night, I do not fear going out to a bar and wondering who is watching me, and what might happen when I leave. I do not fear because I am not a target. Now before I really get into this, I know I am probably going to take some heat, turn some people off, or maybe even make some enemies, but just know if the shoe fits, wear it, and if you don’t like what I am saying, you might be part of the problem. With that being said, I am not all high and mighty; I am not all-knowing, nor am I a perfect person. I am not a hardcore feminist, but I do believe in being a good person and standing up for what is right. I believe my moral compass is very well calibrated, I am kind and open-minded, and I am aware of the abundance of unjust that we find in our world today. If you are easily offended or are just going to create more hate from this blog, please stop reading here, because what ensues will not be all rainbows and kittens.

I will not sit back and bash women who bash men. I will not be the guy to bitch and moan and try and plead the case that all men aren’t the same. This is a given, everyone is different, but I do understand having that mindset as a female when you fear for your life on a daily basis doing normal shit. Now if you’re a male and you don’t have the slightest feeling of empathy for the subject that I am speaking on, think about your mother. Don’t stop their though... Think about your sister, your aunts, or any women that you love, and try to put yourself in their shoes. And if you’re sitting back thinking that this is bullshit, there are no problems, and I’m just some “fairy”, fuck you. It’s 2019, wake up.

Like I stated before, I am a layman on this topic, and I cannot even begin to comprehend what women have gone through in the past, nor what they continue to go through day in and day out. The closest I can get to understanding is thinking about my mother and my sister. Two of the most important people in my life, and two people I would lay my life down for without a second thought. I do not fear going to the store at night, but I fear for my sister when she does. I do not fear getting gas by myself, but I fear for my mother when she does. The fact of the matter is this… Women have every right to create bubbles, to come off as a bitch, and to stray away from any man they do not know. Too much tragedy has happened, and the trust has been rightfully lost.

Being apart of society and a large portion that is male, I feel the duty to challenge those like me. We need to do better, we HAVE to do better. There is no entitlement that comes with a penis; just because you are male does not make superior in any way. Males have the ability to strike fear in women, to hurt women, and to strip away their sense of safety in the matter of seconds. Do not be that guy. Think about the other side of things the next time you are out and about and have the urge to hit on a women thinking she will enjoy it, because chances are she won’t. It isn’t your fault, maybe your intentions are pure, you think she’s cute, and you meant no harm. That is all fine and dandy, but because the walls have been torn down from horrible event after horrible event, be “man” enough to know your actions might truly ruin someone’s day.

Change must happen now, not tomorrow, not in a month... now. Like I said, we have to do better as males and as a society. All eyes are on us; we are the generation that will continue the mistreatment, or change the world for the better. I have tried to keep this short, sweet, and simplified. I do not know a whole lot, so I don’t think it is right I dive into the subject in great detail. My “thing” for Coffee With Demons has always centered around mental stability and the demons that we battle, but the main goal of CWD is no different from the main goal of this blog: to make the world a better place. Yes, demons are created by situations, events, people, or even by ourselves, and fighting them off is a very difficult task. Now what I ask of anyone who is reading this is simply to hold yourself accountable. Just as easy as others can create demons for us, we can create demons for them. Do not add to the problems, and do not point fingers and blame. Look in the mirror, start with yourself, and change for the better. We can only control ourselves, but do not take that fact and be selfish. Be better than you were yesterday, plant seeds of love wherever you go and water them as often as you can. It has been proven that one human can do an astonishing amount of damage, but you have the ability to turn the tables. For as much hurt as one person can inflict, he or she can create twice the amount of peace, love, kindness, or whatever positive noun you prefer. Don’t sit around and wait idly for the world to change so you can hop on the bandwagon, be the change and start now. Light breeds light and nothing more, starve the dark from the fuel it seeks and the world around you will rejoice.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

-Coffee With Demons, JG

10/18/19