We All Bleed

Life works in crazy ways. From whatever higher power is out there showing you signs, to the universe beating you down until the only energy left in your body is that to make everything come to an end. I, like every other human on this earth, experience what are known as emotions. Now when you were in school, a teacher for whatever class was relevant at the time, would ask you to list emotions, and what would those be? Sad, happy, angry,  nervous? If only it was that simple. Well, another crazy way life likes to show us mortals how truly naive we really are, is hitting us with situations that make your heart stop, situations that display darkness in the most genuine form. So called emotions that feel like poison shooting through your veins, leaving a pain that eats at you from the inside. But how amazing is that, the fact that we can feel so deeply. Knowing that to be feeling this empty, I once had to be feeling so full. However, sometimes I don't know how to interpret these feelings, because sometimes they feel like a blessing when others they feel like a curse, but thats what comes with being a human, right?

We really are fascinating creatures though, from our ability to think beyond the here and now, to punishing ourselves over and over for a moment that could've elapsed over as little time as a mere one second. You see, not only do we inflict ourselves with pain, but we do it more than once.  Now when I speak about our ability to punish ourselves over and over, to feel the consequence of an action more than just one time, well these are just side effects of higher cognitive functioning, and increased intelligence. So on the flip side, we are so lucky to be able to talk, create, inspire, feel, love, and imagine, that this little habit of punishing ourselves becomes tolerable, so most everyone puts up with it. But why?

Since I was a little kid I've always felt I've been more emotional than others. From loving carelessly, to being angered at the littlest mishap. My feelings have ran rampant throughout my entire life, but it hasn't all been bad. The ability to feel deeper works in both directions. Yes, the lows and the pains can rock your whole world and flip everything upside down, but being able to experience happiness that is unearthly is beyond words. So here comes the main point I want to make... You can in fact be as happy as you want to be. Train your brain to think positive, love yourself, and you'll feel so much better about the life you live. Happiness is a state of mind. Quit letting the demons in your head punish you, and stop letting them control your life. Yes, emotions run deep, and can weigh heavy on the soul, but you control your emotions, and happiness should be the one you choose.

Odd right? That our emotions, and our overall well being have so much to do with how we think. It's hard for me to even write this, like I'm preaching to someone, because it is not easy to overcome searing pain that is so easily aroused and so difficult to subside. I still struggle with issues from the past that just can't seem to rectified, but that's how its been for a long while now, like I've been chasing angels, and running from demons. I wanted to stop running, so I've been taking control of my life. There are times when it is hard, trying to climb out of old holes takes time, so don't get down on yourself when you slip up, everyones human.

I honestly don't know how to tie this jumble of writing together. I just want to make sure everyone reading this understands a couple things. You control your emotions, so take time to work on feeling how you are meant to feel, and that's happy. Think positive and watch your world flourish with love. Last, but not least, don't get down on yourself for the little things, because in a month or even a week, those feelings will be washed away making room for whatever you choose to fill that void with. Sometimes we need to bleed to realize we are no different than others, and realize that some demons aren't easily stripped from our lives, but we do not in any way need to spend our days suffering by our own blade. So fill that void with love, appreciation, and endearment for yourself, others, and the beautiful life you live. As I have said many times before, life is too short to live in despair, so find hope in the new day ahead, and reap the blessings you so badly deserve.

-Coffee With Demons, JG

8/13/17